is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
