i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
