on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
