there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize