Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
