I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
