Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
