Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
