the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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