Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
