i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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