You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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