butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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