Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
