If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
