This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
