Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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