do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
