I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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