Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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