maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
