the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
