using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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