I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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