I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
