I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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