just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
