I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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