sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize