I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
