Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
