what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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