I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
