No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
