This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
