Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
