Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
