"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
