I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
