please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
