Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
