am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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