I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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