but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
