i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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