I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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