That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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