just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
