He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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