you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
