Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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