I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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