I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize