Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
