Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
