so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
