I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
