You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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