My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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