Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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