they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
