She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
