Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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