Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
