obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
