It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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