I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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