so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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