WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
