please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
