Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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