he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
