Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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