he puts the penis in happiness.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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