the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
