I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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